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The Morning After Pill

Written By: Niemah Monique
Posted On: July 10, 2008 @ 9:49 AM PST
Category: Poetry
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A bitter pill is rejection when the perception of the connection isn’t the confection that you savor
when you come with a hidden agenda all the while disrespecting the truth because it isn’t what you want to know or feel because it’s real you rather change the view to suit you.
The morning after the night you finally came to the distinction of the extinction of your grandeur
that you are not sharing the mental physical as the one you desire retorting I don’t want you now such a grieving liar
having to save face for the space that is empty where you wanted her to be can’t even confess to a priest but instead growing inside of you a life of vengeful procreation.
Not wanting to or ready for a score or anything more than just a true friend and you selfishly concocted a scheme for changing the mind
when you find that you are drawn to her in more than a platonic way, mesmerized by the time spent instead of paying attention to what she did say.
Scorned and forlorned living in a glass house tossing stones instead of seeing your own demise in the mirror filled with eyes red from crying
only lying to yourself but want to put the deceit on someone else feeling unwanted and disadvantaged when the vantage point was given clearly
stricken into the mind that I don’t want you for a relationship for any time and clearly you said you understood but you didn’t and now it’s no good.
Confessing your love for me flip-flopping back and forth with hate when I reply I am not feeling the same and never will a view to a kill of your spirit
only you can’t deal with the truth as told over and over again only a friend not interested in your being my mate.
Telling your friends the drama when in your mind you were done wrong giving in to one night of oral sex thinking the level was next such a big regret
and a huge mistake did I make thinking one was mature enough to handle a situation that was never to be, perpetuating the memory, platonically was murdered with one orgasm,
shattered the foundation of resolve causing her to be bitter and venomous hurling insults twisting the reality because her ego is broken unwanted and not shared
the emotions that faired between friends and thinking the benefits would manifest into monogamy until truthfully I was trying to find ways and excuses
to avoid the advances of romances not wanting to be intimately connected only a movie or DVD shoe shopping or road trips turned ugly when the pressure of ultimatums
went badly and deeply projected into animosity when I said it didn’t matter to me if you search for sleep with another that may be your soul mate you seek.
the birth of hate spewed forth and the ugly head of pain reared as I feared seeing what you wanted between the lines but don’t want to accept your responsibility
for your own emotions not respecting the devotion to my steadfast notion of NOT wanting you romantically only platonically needing to fill the whole
where time of quantity was spent and time came and went backed off of the way we used to socialized as I realized you were feeling more than what was genuinely happening
and now telling your friends convoluted truth to make you feel the solace for your own damn misguided thoughts of changing the rules and not being wanted for a friend
and thus the end of a substance while you murdered a platonic fetus with your delusions and fear of rejection the lethal injection
severed the umbilical cord and still in scorn you lie in the morning after like you are innocent and took no life
…you aborted the truth and laid like a whore for your own lies
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